


The Cons of Dating a Miser

by SioDymph



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: M/M, Some fighting, Stanchez Microbang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8416426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SioDymph/pseuds/SioDymph
Summary: Stan and Rick have been together for a little over a year now, doing odd jobs and less-than-legal jobs here and there. After spending months saving up the money, Rick does something very rare and decides to treat Stan with a gold chain and a night on the town. But things don’t go as expected…





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so as I mentioned in the tags I made this for the Stanchez Microbang organized this year. Basically a bang is when an artist and a writer are paired up and work together to create a story and illustration for their fandom, or in this case their otp. I was entirely new to bangs of any kind and had a lot of fun collaborating with highwind-valor on Tumblr and DA! And I hope you enjoy our work as well!
> 
> Here's a link to the lovely art made by highwind-valor over on DA: http://sta.sh/01rwfo3g4fci  
> And here's a link to the Microbang page for more amazing stories and art work!: http://stanchez-bang.tumblr.com  
> And if you were curious, you can see my original post for the Microbang here:  
> http://siodymph.tumblr.com/post/152122790226/the-cons-of-dating-a-miser

After weeks and weeks of saving, for months now, and enough to put any suburban housewife to shame, Rick finally had enough. Every paycheck he and Stan collected, no matter where it came from, Rick had been splitting his share into two parts. One half which was money he could use however and whenever he wanted and the bigger half which was money he was trying to save. Sure a few times when they went a little too long in between heists or shitty door-to-door sales that Rick may have had to take more money out of the savings than he would of liked. He'd even had to convert a lot of his cash from Floorp dimensions D-479 into American earth dollars. But after all this time he was finally done saving. Tonight they were gonna treat themselves.

They could really go out for a night on the town. Find some fancy dinner where the food wasn't from a fast-food chain or a gas station, get a room at a nice hotel that wasn't coated in mysterious grease stains, they could hop over to Blitz and Chitz and go insane, or maybe just gamble in an earth casino, whatever Stan wanted. It was their night and for once they'd had enough money that absolutely no one could tell them no.

Along with all that Rick also had gone ahead and spent some of the money on Stan. In a small box next to the rest of the cash was a gold chain, a real gold chain. Rick couldn't wait to see the look on Stan's face when he pulled that out along with the wad of cash, still thick as a paperback novel. He knew how much the guy loved to get his hands on cold hard cash. He turned into a fucking miser every time they got paid. And he'd watched Stan's eyes light up when he saw that chain the other day when they were wandering through downtown.

He could hear the shower turning off in the other room. Rick could just see his Lee stepping out of the bathroom now, long hair damp and clinging to his neck, water droplets rolling down his biceps and stomach, towel loosely wrapped around his hips. And then seeing his whole face break into an adorable grin when Rick gave him the chain.

When the bathroom door finally swung open Rick had to force himself to stop smiling like an idiot, or at least try too. He shoved the money and the chain back into his pocket and turned to face a very suspicious Stan.

"What are you all smiley about?"

"What?" Rick asked, wrapping his arm's around Stan's shoulders and leaning in close. "A-a guy can't be happy to see his boyfriend."

Stan seemed surprised at first but he played along easily, hands falling onto Rick's skinny hips. Practically covering the whole small of his back. "Oh, so we're back to using the b-word? Thought you didn't like being tied down and all that."

"B-word? What are you, some sort of f-fucking school girl? I'll call you whatever I want to!" He could feel Stan's chest shake with laughter as he leaned in close. "Doesn't hurt that my boyfriend's a real hot piece of ass too." Rick murmured into his neck.

"Heh, now I know you're up to something for sure."

"I can't just be nice cause, cause I feel like it?" Rick asked innocently, planting a kiss on his neck, right behind the jaw.

"Oh no way!" Stan laughed, letting Rick trail his mouth along his neck. "You're never this sweet unless you need me to be your muscle. So what's it today? Goons? Space aliens? Goons that also happen to be space aliens?"

Rick decided to go with it, reaching for the box in his pocket and making sure his hand brushed Stan's stomach along the way. "Ok fine, y-you got me. I need your help with one tiny, little thing."

"And what's that?" Stan asked, sighing disappointedly as he pulled away from Rick. Oh god, he actually thought Rick was being serious right now. Rick grinned as he pulled out the box and shoved it into Stan's face.

"Mind opening this for me?"

Eyebrows raised, Stan scrambled to grab the case awkwardly. And those brows stayed raised after he opened the box and read over how many karats were in the chain. "Woah... Is this real?"

"Yeah. You like it?" Rick asked, stepping behind Lee and hugging his chest.

Stan was stuck in place, unable to believe how much gold was sitting in his hands. "It's... It's beautiful."

"C'mere." Carefully, Rick pulled it out of it's box and clasped it around Stan's neck.

"How did you get this?" Stan asked quietly, still holding onto the chain as if it would disappear off his neck.

Rick couldn't help but beam with pride a little as he pulled Stan towards the mirror. It really did look perfect around his neck. "Bought it."

Stan laughed, shaking his head at the sight. "Honestly, how the hell did you even get your hands on this? I got more money on my neck right now than everything my Pops use to have in his pawn shop combined!"

"Like I said, bought it. My own money and everything."

Stan gave him a skeptical look, "Sure. But... I really shouldn't be wearing something like this. I mean, it's practically begging to get nabbed-"

"Babe don't worry about it. It's, it's fine." Rick's hands hurried to grab at Stan's before they could unclasp the chain, while trying to keep that purr in his voice. "And thats not all... Check this out."

He'd expected Stan to be happy. Rick had hoped he'd be excited but he could work with happy, or even just impressed. But the shocked, nervousness that seemed to rise out of Stan when he pulled out the money caught him off guard. Sure he seemed surprised, but it was a sort of fearfulness that made him look like he was going to bolt from the room.

"Rick?" Stan asked quietly, still staring at the money as if it were a bomb. "Where did you get all this money?"

"Babe, don't worry about it. I-I've just been saving it up is all."

"Oh my god Rick." Stan seemed to come out of his shock now, hands slowly reaching out to touch the money. His mind looked like it was going a mile a minute, and Rick cursed internally when he saw Stan's eyes getting misty. What the hell was going on, he was supposed to be happy! Happiness and surprise he could work with but... whatever Stan was doing right now? It left Rick feeling completely in the dark. He was never that great at reading people, especially when compared to Stan.

"Soooo..." Rick began, trying to get the teasing, playfulness in his voice. "Wha-what do you wanna do first?"

Stan finally tore his gaze away from the money to look at Rick, almost accusingly. "What?"

"I mean it's a, that's a lot of cash you got there. And we got all night to spend it. So what-"

"Are you insane?!"

Rick was taken back by the way Stan snapped at him. "Probably. But that never bothered you before did it?-"

"I can't believe you! You just wanna waste all this in one night? Do you know how much money's in my hands right now?!"

Rick tried to win back control of the conversation. Get it back to that mellow place where they could pretend to be as nonchalant as they wanted. But Stan was really trying his patience now. "Sure I do. I-I'm the one whose been saving it up. Would you just calm down, it's not that big of a deal Lee."

"It's a huge deal Rick! We... We can't just go crazy and spend this all just because we have it!" As he ranted Stan separated the money into several stacks and hid it all into socks, shoving them into his suitcase before Rick could stop him. "And we can't keep this much money on us, one wrong move and this could all disappear! We should... We should put it in banks or something, set up savings accounts. Dammit! You need a real identity for that don't you? Maybe I could call up some old friends I know and-"

Rick groaned dragging his hands down his face. "Why the hell are you getting so freaked out about this Lee! Hey! Hey, don't you dare put that in a sock too!"

Rick found himself sprinting over to Stan to stop him from taking off the gold chain. With a strength hidden somewhere in Rick's skinny frame, Rick's hands pulled Stan's away from his neck. Stan struggled back, grunting out a few curses as he wriggled in Rick's grip.

"Rick, you better let me go right now." Stan warned lowly.

"And what? Let you fu-fucking put all your shit in socks?!" When Stan's mouth moved to clamp down hard on Rick's hand he finally relented, watching sadly as that gold chain was tucked into a sock. "What's your problem man? I didn't save up this money just for you to loose you shit and go on a hoarding spree."

Stan glared harshly at Rick as he slammed his suitcase shut with with much more force than necessary. "No! I bet you saved up this money so we could go gambling and spending like crazy and living it up, right? To go apeshit for just one night and then crawl back into our shitty lives the next day!"

"Lee?"

"That's just what you do, huh? Always living for the moment. God forbid you ever actually think ahead for once!"

"Well fuck you too! Not-not like your any better at long-term planning. Where the hell is all of this even coming from?"

"I'm sick of living like this!" He spun around and for a moment Rick though he was going to leave their room in just his towel but then he turned back around and started pacing back and forth, hands running through his hair and harshly tugging at the now frizzy ends of his mullet. "I hate it! I hate this so much you have no idea Rick!"

"Hate what?" Rick asked, not able to hide the anger in his voice. Screw being mellow and nonchalant.

"Always being broke! And the few times we do have more then a hundred dollars to our name it's gone before we can even do anything! No matter what we do we always fuck up and end up back at square one! And you just pretend like there's nothing wrong with that! That this bullshit is just a normal thing people do, but it's not Rick!"

"Don't you dare make this all my fault Lee! You've been in this shit long before we ever met. So don't you fu-fucking dare try to pin all your problems on me!"

"I'm not!" Stan snapped back defensively.

"Why is this even a problem to you? You never gave a shit about where our money goes and now that I try to do something nice for you suddenly I'm the asshole with no self-control?!"

Stan stopped pacing and for a moment he refused to turn around to face Rick. He could see how his hands were shaking as they were clenched into tight fists. "Well maybe I don't wanna do something that's just fun for two fucking hours! Maybe I wanna do something smart!"

"Since when did you, Stanley fu-fucking Pines, ever care about being smart?"

The look Stan shot at him for that sent a chill up his spine.

"Fine! Go spend all of that on shit you won't even remember, see if I care!" Stan roared over his shoulder. When he slammed the bathroom door shut behind him the whole side of their room shook.

"Maybe I will! Ju-just let me get it all out of your fucking socks first!"

The only response he got was the radio in the bathroom suddenly bursting to life on a rock station cranked up as loud as it could possibly go.

Red was beginning to cloud Rick's vision. He needed to get out of here before he said anything else that could make this thing worser than it already was. He threw on his jacket, grabbed his flask and one of Stan's socks, putting the money back in his pocket. "Lee? I'm going out! Call me if you need anything while having your fucking nervous breakdown in there!"

Rick was certain heard something get chucked at the bathroom door as he was locking their front door. But he didn't give it much mind as he stormed out of their complex as fast as his skinny legs could take him.

He didn't realize just how late it had gotten. He got onto the bus in that strange window of time where most night people were heading out to their clubs and parties but some folks were just leaving their jobs to finally go home. So it was a weird mix of wide-awake people in vibrant colors vs normal people who definitely did not get paid enough to deal with this shit every Friday night. And though it did catch Rick's eye, he still found his focus stuck on Lee and their weird fight.

Where the fuck did that all come from? They'd gone from a little flirting and gift-giving to slamming doors and hiding shit in socks. He knew Stan could get emotional over money but he'd never seen him act like that. Getting all paranoid and hiding everything so he didn't have to look at any of it. And how before he got mad he got so freaked out, Rick was worried that he'd actually repack their bags and run out of the room. It pissed him off but it also scared him. A bit more then he'd ever want to admit.

And what the hell had Stan even been talking about, going out and wasting their money all the time? It had actually been a couple months now since they'd even hit a bar or club. Around that same time he started all his saving actually.

This was not at all how their night was supposed to be going. Right now they should of been out in the nicer part of town, or maybe in the nicer part of some other, cooler dimension. Rick wasn't supposed to be sulking alone in the dead of night while Stan was probably tearing apart their room in his temper tantrum. Granted now that he thought on it more, coming home to a wrecked room would probably be better then some of the other possibilities. Like an empty motel room.

Scowling Rick tipped back his flask until his throat and nostrils burned. He didn't want to think about this anymore. He didn't want to think period. Whatever happens happens and he'd let future, much more intoxicated, Rick deal with all that bullshit.

After a couple of hours wandering through the city and getting into the satisfying blur he finally got himself to calm down enough to go back to his and Lee's room.

While heading back towards their motel there was still a small bit of nervousness bubbling up in his guts that managed to worm his way through his drunk haze. But he tried to swallow down the feeling. When he left their apartment Stan seemed to be in a weird state that kind of scared him. Who knew where his head space was like right now? And one traitorous part of him kept wondering if Stan would even still be there. What if he took all the money and the car and just ran away?

"Lee?" Tentatively, he knocked on the door before unlocking it and slowly cracking it opened. "Babe are you, are you still here?"

When he saw Stan sitting on their bed he could feel himself breath easier. He looked a lot more calmer now. He was wearing sweatpants and his hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail. Instead of looking royally pissed he just looked really... Sad maybe? But also exhausted? He sat hunched over the edge of the bed, looking down at the gold chain as it shined in the lamplight. But as Rick opened the door wider and stepped in, Stan looked up at him with relief.

"You came back?"

Rick was taken by that slightly, had Stan really thought he would just up and leave like that? Over money? "Well Uhh, yeah. I just, I just needed to go clear my head. You... Y-You heard me say I was going out right?"

"I couldn't really hear you over the radio, but I did hear you yelling a lot. I got... I was afraid that- never mind." Whatever Stan was going to say he suddenly decided not to. He almost looked shy the way he carefully set the chain down and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Sorry about that. I just needed to go a-and, to get out for a bit." Sighing heavily, Rick slumped down next to Stan's side. "But I don't plan on leaving anytime soon."

For a moment Rick didn't think Stan would say anything back, but then he saw him go to take a deep breath, steeling himself. "... I'm sorry too Rick. I shouldn't of yelled at you like that. Not your fault I freak out whenever people try to do nice things."

Rick wished he could be pretty much anywhere else in the multiverse besides here. He'd take the stomach of a Glorpdorp or even switching lives with one of his older selfs and suffering through dysfunctional family dinners for the rest of his life over this awkwardness. "Don-don't worry about it Lee. If anything I probably shouldn't of sprung all that on you all at once, so sorry about that. You kinda, you got over-overwhelmed."

Stan chuckled a little at that, but it was probably one of the sadder sounds he'd ever heard from the man. "No shit... Can't ever do nothing smart or in-control."

Rick couldn't tell if Stan was talking about him or himself, but he felt like it fit them both like a glove right now.

It might of been minutes or hours after that, but they just sat together in silence. Then Stan took another deep breath, this one much more shaky then the first.

"I... I didn't think I'd still be stuck like this when I first started. I hoped by now I'd at least be on my way to making a real life." While talking he began to rub harshly at his eyes and Rick prayed to every higher power he never believed in that his Lee didn't cry. He had no idea what the hell he was supposed to say if Stan started crying. "Start a business maybe. Actually make enough money to start paying off my debts... But here we are."

Rick hated how helpless he suddenly was. Stan looked like he was seconds away from bursting into tears and Rick was fucking clueless on what to say that could make it better. Instead he rested his head onto Stan's shoulder and slowly drew him into a hug, still silently hoping that he wouldn't cry. Please God, terrible bastard who hates him so much, please just give him this one small thing.

But Stan continued, and he couldn't hide how his face was growing red and blotchy and his eyes were welling. "I never wanted to believe it but my old man was right. I'm just a loser with no smarts, no redeeming qualities and no future."

Rick was grateful that he was still drunk, he'd probably never be able to handle shit like this sober. He really hoped he didn't say anything stupid though. "Lee? I know you prob-probab- you don't give a shit what I think. But I think your old man is a fuck-fucking dumbass who can't see past his nose if he ever said that to you. Him and anyone else who even thinks that, fuck them all!" Carefully, Rick unwound himself from around Stan, though he was still pressed against his side and took the gold chain off the bed. "I mean, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't go out and buy this for someone I thought, that I thought was a loser with no future."

As he brought the chain closer to Stan he shrunk back some like it was some sort of trap. "I don't deserve something like that."

"I think you do." Rick egged on. "And who, who the fuck has to be worthy in order to get nice shit? If anyone says you can't get nice shit punch'em in the dick. I don't care who they are, punch them right in their fu-fucking dick Lee."

Finally that got a small laugh from his Lee, a far cry from whatever that sad laugh was earlier. When he crawled behind Stan and lifted the the chain back towards his neck Lee let him, but he still seemed unsure about the whole thing. When the chain was clasped and hung around his neck Stan reached up and held it in his own fingers.

"And what if something happens? What if I find some way to fuck this up and we loose everything again?" Rick couldn't stand how small and unsure Stan sounded when he asked that.

Instead of answering right away he shrugged and flopped down onto their mattress. "If shit happens then shit happens, nothing we can do about that. But you're smarter then you give yourself credit Lee. I'm sure you'll figure out something good to do with all that money."

"Actually I have a few ideas. But I don't wanna do anything to soon. Let's just... Hold on to it for a while, and see what comes up. That sound ok to you?"

"Sounds like a plan Stan." Rick smiled, enjoying how Stan groaned and rolled his eyes while he curled closer towards him. "So tell me 'bout, t-tell me some of these ideas of yours."

The rest of the night the two spent talking about business schemes ranging from plausible to down-right ridiculous to only existing to get the other to try and laugh. And they kept going until they both passed out, still tangled up in each others arms and legs. In the morning the gold chain glinting beautifully with the sun streaming down on it.


End file.
